The
dictionary defines the word steel
as "strong, durable, unflinching in character" and the word magnolia
as "any of the various evergreen or deciduous trees of the genus
magnolia, cultivated for their showy flowers in colors of white,
pink, purple or yellow."
Where
I come from, a Steel
Magnolia
is the combination of the two definitions above...and so much more.
She is the very essence of strength combined with soft femininity.
She is a woman who enjoys being a woman, and is well aware of the
power that comes with it. She is the backbone of her family, in good
times and bad; and "family" means so much more than just
blood kin to her it encompasses anyone to whom she is tied by heartstrings.
She
takes great pleasure in being there for those she loves, and in
filling their needs. She will even put her own needs on the back
burner to do this, and never give it a second thought. And it doesn't
matter to her if she's filling a need that will earn her recognition
and praise or if it's so "behind the scenes" that no one
ever even knows who filled it. The only reward she needs is the
knowledge that the need was filled. It is she who holds the family
together when everyone else is ready to quit; she is the very
foundation of the South, and the rock on which it was built.
It
is she who cares for the sick, both in her family and anyone else's
who may need an extra hand when they are unable to carry their load
alone. It is she who manages to scrimp, save and pinch pennies till
they holler when times are tight and does without, herself
so that her family doesn't go without what they need. It is
she who keeps the churches alive by seeing that her family is there
for all activities, by taking part in them herself and just generally
filling any position that might need filled from Sunday School
teacher to singing in the choir to getting the communion ready to
arranging flowers for the sanctuary. It is she who gives even more
hours of her already-full day to organizations that do good for her
community and around the world groups like Red Cross, Junior
Leagues, homeless shelters, shelters for abused women and hospitals,
just to name a very few.
It
is also she who teaches her children the values of love, compassion,
courage, strength, spirituality, joy, and even sorrow. She teaches
them that it is not a sin to make a mistake; but it is one not to
try. She teaches them that it's perfectly normal to have weak moments
when you want to quit; but it's not good to give in to the urge to do
so. It is she who teaches them that they can be anything they want to
be, and have anything they want out of life; the sky's the limit
if they want it badly enough to work really hard for it.
She
also teaches them about the "graces" of life the
beauty of sparkling, beautifully cut crystal, the patina of
well-polished silver that's been passed down from one generation to
the next, the sentimental value of having your table set for special
occasions with Great-grandmother's china (even though the pattern has
long since been discontinued) and Grandmother's Battenburg table
linens that her son brought to her from a cruise when he was in the
Navy. She shows them the beauty and elegance of a table set with her
finest appointments and graced with beautiful fresh-cut flowers,
usually from her own garden. It is she who teaches them about family
traditions...and those who made them.
She
is also an excellent cook. Among the most-treasured possessions
passed down through the generations of Steel
Magnolias
are family recipes. These recipes may have begun as bare-bones
recipes made out of whatever staples happened to be on hand in the
family pantry during lean times. But, generations later, they have
been embellished by each one who used them until they have reached
near-gourmet standards. And, in this day and time, they have also
been made low-fat without sacrificing taste; because Steel
Magnolias
have their family's well-being in mind at all times.
Steel
Magnolias
care very much about their appearance, but it is very important that
you realize that all of them are not beauty queens although we
certainly have more than our fair share of those who are. While all Steel
Magnolias
are taught very early on to "accentuate the positive, eliminate
the negative", everyone knows their real beauty comes from
within. While the phrase, "Pretty is as pretty does" is
certainly one all Southern girls cut their teeth on, it comes closer
to being true than they generally realize until they get a bit wiser.
The beauty of a Steel
Magnolia
is one that shines from within her; it's a glow that all the best
makeup in the world, most artfully applied, can never begin to
duplicate much less surpass. It's a glow that comes from her
genuine love of others, her deep interest in them and how their life
is going, her concern for how she might make things better for her
world. It comes from her not just looking at your eyes, but into your
heart, when she is a part of your world. It comes from knowing that
she will be there to laugh with you, as any loved one will; but she
will also be there to hold you, cry with you, and roll up her sleeves
and help you work your way out of rock bottom when life puts you
there. The real secret to a Steel
Magnolia's
beauty is that it is purely and simply a reflection that comes from
how you see her in your heart.
Steel
Magnolias
love all the trappings of femininity; as the song says, they are
strictly female females and enjoy being that way. They can flirt with
the best of them, and generally do. In the South, no one takes
offense at this, because they all have the gene! The only competition
involved is seeing who can outflirt you ... or, if you're a Southern
Gentleman, seeing how many Magnolias
you can have flirting with you at one time! Steel
Magnolias
have a unique way of speaking a combination of that famous
accent which they can thicken at will and phrases like none you've
ever heard anywhere else; this dialect is known around the world, and
loved by virtually everyone who hears it. Especially men. And, when
the situation warrants it, they are also quite capable of cutting a
deserving person into ribbons with their words in such a way that
that person will not only thank them for it at the time, but not even
realize that they've been shredded until much later down the road.
It's an ability with which they are all quite fluent, and a power
that is used very judiciously; but, believe me, you do not want to be
a recipient of this particular talent of a Steel
Magnolia!
And,
in this day of equal rights, a Steel
Magnolia
knows that she has her place in the workplace that is equal to any
man's; but she also knows that she is the one with the real power in
personal matters. Their gentlemen know this as well; they accept its
wisdom and know full well it's worth the price to be the center of a Steel
Magnolia's world!
These are men who know the meaning of words like
"chivalry", "charm", "silver-tongued
devil", "rogue", "rake" and
"rascal" because they are all a part of them. And we love
them for these things. You see, a Steel
Magnolia doesn't
consider it an insult to have a door opened for her, or to be helped
into her coat, or other such gentlemanly things done for her; she
knows these things are not done because her gentleman thinks she is
incapable of doing them herself he does them out of respect
and his love for her. It is his way of showing he enjoys taking care
of her in small ways, as well as large ways. It is a reciprocation of
tenderness between the two.
All
Steel Magnolias
are an intriguing combination of every stereotypical Southern woman
TV and the movies have made famous, from Scarlett and Melanie in
"Gone with the Wind", to Julia, Charlene, Mary Jo and
Suzanne on "Designing Women", to M'Lynn, Shelby, Clairee,
Annelle, Truvy and yes even Ouiser in "Steel
Magnolias". We may each have more of one of the stereotypes in
our makeup than the rest, but, believe me, they all reside within us.
And what better opportunity than now to say I'm very proud to be a
member of this wonderful, elite group.
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